Spicing things up is an ongoing process. It doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, it requires a committment to regular small steps to move you toward a more healthy and passionate relationship.

There are little things that you can do every single day that don’t take much time, but really make a huge difference in your relationship over the long term.

Here are 10 quick and easy things you can do each day to spice up your love life. Try one each day for the next 10 days and see what happens in your relationship…

1. Early morning cuddle

Before you hop out of bed in the morning, snuggle up to your lover for just a minute or two. Caress their back, hold them close, and just enjoy being physically close to them.

Step it up a notch by giving them a quick massage right where they need it. Do they have a sore back or shoulders? Spend just a minute working that for them before they get out of bed. It can just be a quick one-handed massage, while you lie curled up against their back. It doesn’t have to be a big affair.

2. Write a note

Hand-written notes are not old fashioned and out of date. They mean just as much now as they used to. Actually, let me dare to say that they mean MORE now than they used to! We are all emailing, texting, instant messaging, calling, and communicating in other ways with technology. Taking the time to hand-write a personal note is an awesome way to let your lover know that you really do care about them.

Step it up a notch by making it a sexy note, maybe with a mention of something you want to do to or with them….

3. Give them a compliment

Like hand-written notes, compliments NEVER go out of style. A heart-felt compliment can leave someone smiling for a whole day! Think of something that you really like about your partner – do they look great in those jeans? Do they have an awesome smile? Do you just love the color of their eyes? Whatever it is, TELL them about it.

Step it up a notch by giving them one compliment every day for just a week. It can even be a small seemingly insignificant compliment – it will mean a LOT to them.

4. Random phone call or email

Technology can be a wonderful tool for sparking up some romance. If you already talk to them on the phone or by email several times a day, then pick another mode to send your message. Choose something that you don’t normally use and let them know that you are thinking about THEM and only them right now.

Step it up a notch by making it a sexy message, telling them how much you want THEM right now…

5. Do a chore

It doesn’t have to be a huge time-consuming chore. It could be something as simple as folding their laundry, taking out the trash if it’s usually their job, or tidying up the kitchen after dinner. Pick something that they normally do as part of their daily routine and suprise them by doing it for them.

Step it up a notch and pick a day to be their “slave for a day”. Have them make up a little list of some things that they would really like some help with. Or just some things that you can do to give them a break.

6. 5-minute massage

A quickie massage can be a great way to let someone know that you care. It doesn’t have to be an hour or 30 minutes, even just 5 minutes can make a difference.

Have them sit or lie down and give them a nice, attentive massage wherever it matters most for them. Sore neck? Focus on that. Sore back? Focus on that. Are their feet killing them? Massage their feet. Give them 5 minutes of focused massage and watch what a difference it makes for them.

Step it up a notch by turning that 5 minute massage into a sexy 15 minute erotic massage… It still doesn’t have to be long (although you can make it longer if you want!).

7. Favorite comfort food

What is your partner’s favorite food? This might be a dish, a snack, a candy, or something else. Pick something that you know they love, but that they don’t necessarily have very often. This is a good one to do when you’re out doing the grocery shopping. You can just grab it and add it to your cart, then surprise them with it when you get home. They’ll be delighted that you thought of them.

Step it up a notch by cooking them their favorite meal, complete with their favorite music and other mood setting enhancements. If they like candles and soft music, do that. If they like snacks and a movie, do that. If they like picnics outdoors, do that.

8. Say I love you

Those three words are powerful. If you don’t say “I love you” often enough, then make a point to say it when it’s least expected. Maybe you normally say it when you’re saying goodbye or before going to sleep. Try saying it when you’re in the middle of a conversation or sneak up behind them when they’re washing the dishes or doing something around the house. Slip your arms around them and whisper it in their ear. You can bet it will make them feel special!

Step it up a notch by doing this once a day for a week, and each day look for a new unexpected opportunity. You want to have them guessing when you might pop up to let them know how you feel about them…

9. Tell them one thing you appreciate about them

Everyone wants to be appreciated, and your partner is no exception. You may think that they know you appreciate them. But if you don’t actually tell them, they may not know afterall. And even if they do know, they STILL like to hear it.

Think of something that your partner does, or a quality they have, or something about them that you REALLY appreciate. Do they help out around the house? Do they take good care of the kids? Do they cheer you up when you’re feeling down? Do they make you laugh? What is it that you really appreciate about them?

Step it up a notch by hosting an “award dinner” in their honor. Invite your friends, family or whoever is important to both of you. Brag your partner up to them and tell them how much you appreciate them. Not only do we like to be told that we are appreciated, but we love to hear people talk about us to OTHERS as well. It will give your partner an extra boost.

10. Ask them what you can do to support them

It’s so easy to get caught up in our own stuff and forget that our partner might need some support, as well. You are a team, afterall. Find out what you can do to support your partner.

It could be something really small, like some of the little things mentioned earlier in the article. Or it might be a bit bigger. But you won’t know until you ASK. And they’ll really appreciate the support!

Step it up a notch by asking every day what you can do to support them that day. Try it just for a week and see how it goes…

These 10 simple tips can really make a big difference in your relationship. By putting yourself out there and looking for ways to make your partner feel good, to support them, to make a difference in their life, they will in turn be more eager to support you more and to appreciate you more.

And you can bet I’ll be reviewing this list and implementing some of these things in my own relationship.

I recently had a question from a reader asking about sexy games that could be played in the car. As I was thinking about ideas for her, I came up with this 20 questions game idea.

20 questions is a classic game played by kids, where you have to guess the answer by asking questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no”. Add a sexy twist to it and the conversation will be sure to have you all hot and bothered…

Here’s how it is played:

The person who is “it” picks an answer such as a particular sex position, a sexy foreplay action, or something else erotic and sexy.

The other person now has to try and guess this answer by asking questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no”. They “win” if they guess the answer with 20 questions or less.

This game can make for one steamy conversation! What kind of questions would you have to ask to figure out what the sex position is, or what erotic toy your partner is thinking of?

Next time you’re on a long car ride with your honey, try this sexy little game and just see if you can keep driving without a bit of “parking”!

If you have never used pantyhose in your bedroom games, then you are in for a treat with these tips!

The Pantyhose Massage

Use a pair of nylons to massage your partner. Run the material over their skin, particularly those sensitive areas! A handjob with nylons can be quite the sensation, and they feel good on other areas of both the male and female body as well.

Put your hand into the stocking part of the nylon and use it like a glove as you run your hand over your partner’s body.

The Striptease

Pantyhose can be a fun element for a striptease. Leave them until last, then peel them off with a sensual motion.

The Leg Extravaganza

Why not try leaving your nylons on during your lovemaking? Or for the guys, encourage your partner to leave theirs on. You could even “create” your own special pair of nylons with the crotch part cut out – or go with stockings instead of the full pair.

The feel of nylons on feminine legs has driven men crazy for years. Chances are, something as simple as leaving the nylons on will provide some variety and new sensations.

Be sure to enjoy the sensations! For the guys, run your hands over your partners legs and even lick and kiss them. Have her wrap her legs around you while you make out or have sex. For the ladies, doesn’t something as simple as nylons make you feel more sexy and attractive? Enjoy it! Relax and let your partner enjoy you, as well.

The Gag and Tie

Nylons can also be used for gags, ties and blindfolds!

What do you think? Have you used pantyhose for anything fun in the bedroom? Leave us a comment below and tell us about it!

Ice Cubes are a great addition to your sexy bedroom games. The combination of the cold ice on hot skin can be just exquisite. Try it for yourself with these ideas!

The Ice Cube Kiss

Put an ice cube in your mouth and let it melt for a few seconds. Now kiss your partner – with the ice cube still in your mouth! The sensations will be quite exciting for both of you!

You can also switch the ice cube from your mouth to your partner’s mouth during the kiss if you want.

The Ice Cube Tease

Hold an ice cube in your hand until it begins to melt. Hold your hand over your partner’s body and let the water drip onto their skin. Now lick it off of them. The combination of the cold water and your warm tongue is a great way to get them “warmed up”!

You can also use the ice cube directly on their skin – just make sure you don’t hold it on there too long as it can get uncomfortable very quickly.

The Ice Cube Blow-Job

Hold the ice cube in your mouth while it melts for a few seconds. Remove the ice cube and begin to pleasure your partner orally. You may want to try this after you’ve already been going down on them for a minute or two – the change from warm to cold will be even more dramatic.

You can also hold the ice cube in your hand until it starts to melt, then let the water drip on them, then lick it up. Same technique as for The Ice Cube Tease – just try it on their more sensitive parts!

What sexy ideas have you tried with ice cubes? Share your experience in the comments below.

Here are some tips on how to use Chocolate to spice things up in the bedroom!

The Chocolate Painter

Chocolate can make great paint for your sexy games. You can buy commercial chocolate body paint, or make your own!

To make your own, melt some chocolate chips in a pan on the stove – or in a bowl in the microwave. Add some water or milk to make it the right consistency. And be sure to let it cool a bit so that you don’t burn your partner!

You can add flavors to your chocolate body paint, as well. Add some butterscotch or peanut butter chips with the chocolate, use some vanilla extract or other extract flavors. Be creative!

You can also buy chocolate syrup at the store to use, if you don’t want to bother with making your own.

Now use your chocolate paint to create a masterpiece of art on your partner’s nude body. When you are all done, be sure to lick it off and taste your creation!

The Chocolate Crayon

Similar to the chocolate painter, you can use a piece of chocolate to write on your partner’s body. This will work well if their skin is warm enough to melt the chocolate a bit – or you can do that with your hand or fingers, as well.

This method isn’t quite as messy as the painting one and may be better if you don’t want to set up on an old sheet, or have to hit the shower afterward.

The Chocolate Penis

You can get kits to create a chocolate mold of, you guessed it, a penis!

For the men, create a chocolate version of yours and give it to your partner. With any luck, she’ll let you watch her suck on it, before she turns her attention to you!

For the ladies, why not ask your partner if you can make a chocolate version of their penis? Knowing you like their “manhood” will be a good ego booster for your partner. Men like to know you dig their stuff!

Check out EdenFantasys “Clone a Willy” kit here. (Yes, that is an affiliate link – if you buy something from EdenFantasys, I will most likely make a small commission. )

The tie, a simple piece of fabric, can be a very effective tool to use in your bedroom games! Here are some quick tips on how you can use this simple prop to help heat things up!

The Come Hither Kiss

Flip the tie behind your partner’s neck or back and use it to pull them toward you for a very sensual kiss. Be careful that you don’t pull them too hard, or get them tangled up in the tie!

The Tie Me Up, Baby!

A tie makes a great string for tying your lover up to the bedposts! Use one to tie their hands to the headboard, then a couple more to tie their feet. Now you get to tease them and pleasure them until they beg you to take them!

The Blindfold

Another great use for the lowly tie is as a blindfold. Tie it around your lover’s head to cover their eyes, then treat them to a buffet of sensations! This is a good one to combine with my ice cube tips!

The Gag

Yes, your tie can be used as a gag! If you enjoy a little bit of bondage play, then a gag might be on your list of desired items. As long as you’ve got a tie close at hand, you’ll be good to go!

There you have it! Four great ways to use a simple tie in your bedroom fun. Be sure to try at least one of these this week, and drop me a comment to let me know how you liked it!

“What? A hairbrush? How in the world can that help me spice up my love life?”

Welllll, get ready to find out as we continue with this blog series on how to use every day items to spice things up in the bedroom…

The Hair Brush

The most obvious use for a hairbrush can also be used in your bedroom! Sit your partner down on a chair, bed, couch, etc and brush their hair. A good brush will provide a great scalp massage, and this activity can be very enjoyable for the receiver – and the giver, if you make it fun and interesting!

You could take turns brushing each other’s hair, as well. Try doing it with both of you nude, or both dressed. Try it while watching TV or a movie. See what you like best, and repeat what works!

The Brush Massage

Try using the hairbrush on other parts of your partner’s body! Make sure the brush is soft and comfortable. Some brushes have very sharp bristles, so be sure to pick one that is comfortable on the skin.

Use the brush to massage your partner’s body, very gently and softly. If they like a harder, deeper massage, then try that too – but always make sure they are comfortable with what you’re doing and that you’re not hurting them.

You can stroke their arms, legs, chest, back, etc. You could even use the broad flat back of the brush to excite their more sensitive areas. The cool plastic of the brush can feel nice on nipples, genitals, etc.

The Spanking

If you enjoy a bit of spanking in your love play, the hairbrush can be an excellent tool for this. Again, be careful that you don’t use it too hard!

Can you think of any other sexy uses for a hairbrush? Tell us about it in the comments.

Something as simple as water can be a lot of fun to add to your sexy games. Check out the numerous uses for it…

The Sexy Shower

One of the more obvious ways to use water is to shower with your partner. This gives you a chance to admire your partner’s body – and let them admire yours. There is just something about seeing your partner naked and wet in the shower that can be sooo sexy.

Take turns scrubbing each other’s backs, or even your whole bodies. Give your partner a nice scalp massage while you wash their hair. Use a shower gel and shampoo that smells nice to enhance the experience.

You can even get more “naughty” in the shower. Try some sensual kissing and let that lead wherever it goes! Invest in some exciting waterproof toys to try out in the shower. Shower sex can be very erotic and exciting.

The Bath Tease

A nice hot bath can be a very sexy experience for both of you. Run a tub full of nice warm water. Add some sweet smelling bath salts, oils or bubble bath. Turn on some soft, sensual music. You can even enhance the visual aspect by sprinkling some flower petals around and in the bath – or create a trail of them from the livingroom (or other room) into the bathroom to lead your lover to their sexy bath experience.

The bath is a great way to relax together and rejuvenate from a long day. Take a few minutes to re-connect. Chat if you feel like it, or just enjoy the silence and each other’s company.

While relaxing in a bath, this is a good time to tease each other. You can do this with words, light touches, massage, or other forms of flirting and teasing. Do it in a relaxed and sensual way, that adds to the rejuvenating experience, but also gets both of you turned on and ready for some fun when you get out!

The Water Fight

Water fights are not just for little kids with water guns! You can have a lot of fun with this activity as a couple! Go out in the backyard and have some fun throwing water at each other. You can use a water gun, water balloons, cups of water, a hose, or whatever you have on hand that can do the job.

If you have forgotten how to really play together, this might be a good activity to start with. It is hard to be serious when you are throwing water at each other! Have fun with it, be goofy and silly together. Learning to be playful together is a huge step toward having the playfulness and experimentation in the bedroom!

You can do the water fight on a smaller scale indoors, as well. Catch your partner unaware with a few drops of cold water – or warm water! – on their bare skin. Follow it up with a teasing kiss or flirty comment. If it starts to get out of control, you can just shift to something else, or take it outside!

I’m Ki-i-i-i-i-ssing in the Rain

If you have never kissed in the rain, now is a good time to try it. And if you have done it before, why not do it again? A hot and heavy kiss in the rain can be quite exhilarating!

If you have a private backyard, you can take this to another level and actually make love in the rain as well! Talk about mixing things up…

A note to remember: in all of your sexy games involving water, remember that water itself is not a good lubricant. You can use additional lubricant as needed. It might be a good idea to test out several different ones to find one that doesn’t wash away too easily. An oil-based lube might be helpful for this.

Have you used Water for anything sexy? Tell us about it in the comments.

Vegetables are not only good for your health – they can be good for your romance, too! Here are some tips to use vegetables in your bedroom play…

The Veggie Fondue

Veggies can make a great fondue for a sexy treat. Cut up a few of your favorite veggies, then prepare some cheese sauce for your fondue. Now take turns feeding each other cheese-smothered veggies. Hand feeding your partner can be very sensual, and you can have some fun with the sauce in other ways too!

The Veggie Tease

Take a veggie that is phallus-shaped. A carrot or cucumber are great examples. Now mimic giving a blow job – but do it on the vegetable. Look at your partner while you work it in and out of your mouth.

Note: guys find this extremely sexy, to watch their woman do it – but women enjoy it as well! Guys, don’t be afraid to try it out on your partner and give her a nice show…

The Veggie Toy

You can use the veggie you found for the previous tip for this one as well. This time, you are going to penetrate your partner with the veggie. Make sure it is clean, a comfortable size, smooth with no sharp edges, and lubed if needed.

Use the veggie like a dildo for a bit of playful fun.

I’ll bet you’ll look at veggies in a whole new way now, huh?

What do you think? Are there other sexy ways to use vegetables? Leave a comment below and let us know!

A simple candle can do a lot to help you set the mood and enhance your bedroom play. Try some of these techniques this week and see how you like them.

The Candlelit Dinner

The clichéd candlelit dinner is still a great way to enhance your romance. Add some soft music, your favorite wine and a good meal for a particularly delightful treat. Light some candles, turn the lights off, and enjoy an evening of simple beauty and pleasure with your partner.

You can use scented candles or just regular unscented, whichever you prefer. Different sizes, colors and shapes of candles are available and can make the effect even more unique and fun.

The Wax Treatment

Hot candle wax can be a fun addition to your sexy games. Light your candle and let the wax melt for a bit until there is a nice pool of it in the candle. Now hold the candle over your partner’s skin where you want use it. Drip the wax carefully onto the skin.
A note of caution: Candle wax is hot. When dripped, it’s usually a small enough amount that it cools quickly and does not burn. Be careful that you don’t drip too much and burn your partner. And always test it out first to make sure it’s not too hot for them.

The Candle Dildo

Candles of the right shape can be used like a dildo to penetrate your partner. Be sure the candle has no sharp or rough edges. You can smooth any out by carving the candle, or use heat to melt rough edges.

The Candlelit Massage

Set the scene much like you would for the candlelit dinner – but this time do it in the bedroom! Make sure the temperature in the bedroom is comfortable, as you will want your partner nude for this one. Lay a sheet on the bed to keep any oil or lotion off the bedding.

Treat your partner to a sensual massage. Use a nice smelling lotion or massage oil. You can also combine some other techniques, like the hot wax, ice cubes and create some interesting sensations for them.

Have you used a candle for something sexy?